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Happy Living | Joe Jacobi | Answer the Tap“Nobody can give you wiser advice than yourself.”
(Marcus Tullius Cicero)

“With age comes wisdom.” I’ve always believed in this adage…that with every breath and each moment lived, our knowledge grows.  That in simply living our lives, we accumulate all kinds of information through our experiences — from our work, our relationships, the news, travel, the list goes on…

There’s no question that we accumulate knowledge. My interest is piqued however by the question: “What do we do with all this experience?”

Specifically, does the wisdom we’re accumulating foster true certainty and security in our lives? Or is it un-explored wisdom that leaves us stuck on a narrow path, oblivious to the unexplored possibilities all around us?

If we aren’t actively engaging with the wisdom we’re accumulating—the lessons we’re learning day in and day out—weeks, months, even years can pass by without us ever challenging our understanding, our “wisdom.” And when this happens, our desire for education and experimentation, that desire that drives us forward into the adventure of the unknown, can discreetly shut down.

I know, because I’ve experienced this myself. For years, I collected and accepted my life and work experiences with the belief that “this is the path.” While most of those experiences were good, some of them were not so good, and ultimately, I looked up one day to find I wasn’t living the life I wanted to live.

I’d somehow bought into the idea that if you gain enough experience and put in enough time on the narrow path, you’ll eventually receive the opportunity to narrow down your experiences to what you do want and avoid those things you don’t like.

My estimated cost for walking on this narrow path for so long without challenging the wisdom of the experience I was accumulating? Fifteen years. In my attempts to “settle down,” feel “less stress,” and acquire “safety and security” (which I like to call “the untouchables), I spent fifteen years of my life.

Your time-mileage may vary, but regardless of how long you’ve been on the straight and narrow, I have a question for you: How many years of *not so good* will you endure waiting for your opportunity to narrow the path?

Before you answer, consider this…

Recently, a friend sent me a photo of myself from a few years ago when I was representing my organization in a presentation to his company. Looking at it now, I hardly recognize that person standing in front of the room.

But I do remember the speech. Enthusiastically, I shared the message of a bright future for everyone in the room, even though I had allowed my health to decline for several years and my physical appearance showed that clearly.

It wasn’t too long after that picture was taken that I received a wake-up call. A tap on the shoulder that called me to turn around and begin investigating the wisdom in my day-to-day experiences…the wisdom of my path.

At some point, all of us receive those taps on the shoulder. Perhaps they come from the outside, or in my case maybe from the inside. These taps are small invitations to awakening that cause us, ever so slightly, to look beyond the narrow path. The taps call out with the question: “Is this really it?”

The taps are not hard to feel—though they can be challenging to act upon. Why? Because usually, when we act on them, they incite major change. All the more reason to listen to them.

The thing is, when we are constantly questioning and challenging, we can live at the edge of uncomfortable and uncertainty, which is where growth happens. For instance, today, I stake my health on a few boxes that I check every day — no exceptions. These daily to-do items keep me honest on the simple and small incremental steps I take to keep me healthy and strong. And how did I arrive at this system? By questioning what wasn’t working and paying attention to what was. By paying attention to the accumulated wisdom of my life I’ve made changes that really work for me and developed a system that keeps me motivated daily to take care of myself.

Surprisingly, checking those boxes each day creates even more taps on my shoulder, which in turn guide me towards more curiosity, more uncertainty, and more adventure in my life.

In following the taps I’ve felt in my life, adventure has become a daily occurrence. For the past four months, my family and I have woken up every morning far from our home of 20 years in Tennessee. Far from the sight of fish swimming in our pond, from the sound of poodles howling at the occasional coyote, from the sound of bullfrogs giving way to morning songbirds.

Instead, we wake up to the sights and sounds of the street below our downtown balcony apartment in Spain, with its zippy motorized scooters, windows going up on storefronts, the voices of humans as they head to schools, cafés, shops, and workplaces…all speaking to each other in a language I don’t understand…yet.

And I see now…it’s not simply about accumulating wisdom. It’s about paying attention to what that wisdom’s subtle messages. With each tap I pay attention to, my path widens. Our path widens.

When we hear the question, “Is this really it?” we lean into the uncertainty of the unknown and say, “Let’s *Answer The Tap.*”

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