“The sculpture is already complete within the marble block before I start my work. It’s already there; I just have to chisel away the unnecessary rock.”
~Michelangelo
If you had to make a choice, one or the other. If you were given the choice between a life of fame and fortune or one of humility and service, which would you choose?
I know two things for certain.
In the first half of my life, I would’ve chosen fame and fortune. Hands down. No questions asked. Let’s go! I’ve been chasing fame and fortune my entire life. Come on, let’s do this… I’m ready!!!
You see, all throughout the first half of my life, the world taught me to become what it wanted me to be. So, in the first half of my life:
- I fought for what I wanted from life.
- I thought that more was always better.
- I trusted my mind.
- I viewed success as getting more.
- I pushed against resistance.
- I was hard.
- I led by using force to get others to do what I wanted.
But lately, I’ve been undergoing a great big change of heart. Literally!
Two books have guided me along an eleven-year (and counting) transformational journey, from out of my head and into my heart. And these aren’t just any two random books. They are amongst the most translated books in the world, ranking number one and number three. And these two books have created a great big change of heart in me. So BIG, that I can now say, without hesitation, given the choice between a life of fame and fortune or one of humility and service, I joyfully choose a life of humility and service.
The first book responsible for my great big change of heart is, the Tao Te Ching (Tao for short, pronounced: “Dow”). The second book will be revealed later in this series.
I was introduced to the Tao by Dr. Wayne Dyer on June 4, 2011, when for my fiftieth birthday, I bought his book, Change Your Thoughts – Change Your Life: Living the Wisdom of the Tao. The Tao Te Ching is a spiritual text of 81 verses that is attributed to Lao Tzu, a philosopher of ancient China who wrote the book around 600 BC. Tao means literally “the path” or “the way.”[1]
I read one verse and essay each day for eighty-one days. I was both inspired and confused… but I was hooked. Feeling like I needed to learn more, I immediately started over. The second time through, I read the same verse every day for a week. This practice helped me learn deeper and reflect on how I could apply its wisdom to my life.
Studying the Tao has given me a framework for figuring out who I am and what I want during this life. It helps me reflect and think deeply. It helps me pay attention to WHAT I am attracted to, and then to ask WHY. The Tao has been helping me discover my ikigai—my unique and distinct reason for being on this planet. It’s been teaching me how to become everything I am meant to be.
As I’ve been studying the Tao, I’ve been learning to shift my ikigai from striving for outward success (money, trophies, accolades, celebrity—you know, fame and fortune) to the inward contentment of doing my work well and helping others. As Dr. Dyer teaches, “To touch someone’s life [with humility and service] is more valuable than any amount of money.”
It was UNEXPECTED, though, when I realized the Tao was teaching me that I must unlearn much of what I’d been taught during the first fifty years of my life. For example:
Verse 48: One who seeks the Tao unlearns something new each day.
Verse 64: What he (the Master) learns is to unlearn.
This was another one of the many Tao ideas I simply couldn’t understand in my first pass through the book. Over time, as I came to understand more, I think that the unlearning, spoken of in the Tao, was the catalyst that ignited this great transformational, heart-changing journey I am on.
Unlearning has brought me back to the authentic truth I was created to be. Now, in the second half of my life, with my focus on humility and service:
- I’m surrendering to what life has in store for me.
- I’m realizing that less is more.
- I’m listening to my heart.
- I’m viewing success as giving more.
- I’m recognizing resistance and flowing with it.
- I’m becoming soft.
- I’m using quiet power to help others get what they want as I follow my own path.
From the Tao, I’ve been learning, or rather unlearning, that my selfish focus on me, me, me and what I want comes from the incessant chatter of my mind (my ego). All that nasty mental chatter comes from the world around us doing its best to squeeze us into its mold. Into what it wants us to be.
The Tao has been helping me develop a practice of self-awareness. It’s a continuous effort of noticing whether energy is coming from my mind—my ego (from the world) or is generated from deep within my soul—my heart (from the Spirit). The Tao is helping me discover who I am meant to be. Who I was all along. The sculpture of me has always been complete. Now, I’m just chiseling away the unnecessary rock that I accumulated in the first half of my life. And it feels great!
Yes, unlearning what the world wanted me to be and rediscovering the authentic truth I was created to be was responsible for the first steps on the journey to my great big change of heart. In part 2, I’ll share how an UNEXPECTED text message one summer evening in 2020 paved the way for the next big insight that kept me moving along the way.
I’m wishing you all the Happy in life that you can possibly imagine…
With love,
[1] http://www.taoism.net/articles/what_tao.htm
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