“There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self.”
(Ernest Hemingway)
There are a couple of key concepts I want to draw on today to talk about how we can enhance our individual mastery and interpersonal growth.
First, for the maintenance of both physical and mental health, different states of stimulation or engagement are needed at different times to achieve optimum overall health. Second, we need to have a diversified landscape of personal development and social engagement in order to cultivate resiliency and take on the challenges of life.
In his book, The Mature Mind, Dr. Gene D. Cohen refers to all this as The Social Portfolio. Cohen relates this to a financial portfolio, in which diversity is the key to long-term growth. With a diverse portfolio, small losses in one area can be offset by gains in another. As Cohen says, “Adults need to work on a balanced social portfolio based on sound activities, mental challenge, and interpersonal relationships that they can carry into old age.”
Thankfully, Cohen developed a framework to help us categorize the different areas within our social portfolios. There are the two main categories, which he calls Group Efforts and Individual Efforts, and two sub-categories within each of those main categories, which he calls High Energy/High Mobility and Low Energy/Low Mobility.
First, let’s look at Individual Efforts:
In Quadrant 1—Individual Efforts: High Energy/High Mobility—we find things like tough (or relatively tough) physical activities, challenging self-reflective exercises, and deep studying. Think: very engaged activity that hones one’s focus in on a specific task.
In Quadrant 2—Low Energy/Low Mobility—we see things like meditation and walking unplugged (no phone, music, or companion), and light reading. Think: being by oneself but not exerting a lot of energy.
Now, let’s consider the Group Efforts:
In Quadrant 3—Group Efforts: High Energy/High Mobility—examples might include engaging in deep discussion with a large group of people; being in a loud, chaotic environment; going out with friends; or being part of an ongoing dance or theater club. Think: lots of activity and quite a few moving parts.
And finally, in Quadrant 4—Group Efforts: Low Energy/Low Mobility—we find things like church group; having a home-cooked dinner with friends; doing activities with grandchildren; or having a group game night. Think: low-pressure social situations that are engaging, but not very stressful.
Depending on your essence, there will likely be certain quadrants of activity that you are drawn to more than others, and that’s normal. However, to help foster individual mastery and interpersonal growth, we need to be diversifying our overall portfolio across all the quadrants to create a more resilient package in the face of change or adversity.
To paraphrase Cohen:
If our health declines, we need interests that don’t require high energy or high mobility. Similarly, if someone loses a loved one, they will need solo activities to draw on during the transition as they’re building new relationships. As with a financial portfolio, assets must be built over time to help strengthen the overall portfolio.
Both relationships and personal development need to be invested in consistently to help create a bedrock for future changes. To enhance our individual mastery and interpersonal growth, it’s important we’re investing in both Group and Individual Efforts and divvying up our time and attention between High Energy/High Mobility and Low Energy/Low Mobility.
Action Plan:
- Start by taking time to identify how diversified you currently are in your Social Portfolio.
- Be honest with yourself as you identify which areas you already have solid connections to and which ones you need to work on developing.
- Write down some ideas or activities you could start implementing that would begin building up the more neglected areas.
- Take it one step further by discussing these pieces with a close friend—someone you trust—who can help create accountability.
- Get to work diversifying your portfolio!
The journey of life is a constant ebb and flow of growth and challenge. We can increase our resiliency for the journey by cultivating a wide range of social and personal engagements. Start diversifying your social portfolio today and begin moving closer to individual mastery and interpersonal growth.
Books for deeper learning on the topic:
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